(warning: contains momentary language and references to transvestites.)

Ah, I love factually inaccurate cartoons.

Just got finished watching some random cartoon about bees. It was an interesting show, but every bug movie/cartoon I’ve ever seen has been hilarious. The main bee is always male.

Does anyone but me realise how ironic that is?

In reality, the male bee’s only purpose is to fertilise the queen. They’re born, they fuck the queen, they die. They never leave the hive and have fun adventures with mosquitoes and tennis balls. While it’s a cute little story, can we get a bee movie with a female lead role? Please? It’s the female bees who do all the work. They’re the ones with the stingers (and you can fill in your own transvestite joke here), they’re the ones who make the honey. The guys just live for sex. (Is anyone else seeing a slight similarity to some human males?)

Incidentally, bee society is pretty cool. Their women are strong and dangerous. They’re the ones with the power. If the female bees decided to stop working, then the whole hive would die. Can you imagine if the bees rebelled? You never really see that, do you? Female bees overthrowing their totalitarian monarchy. I can see the headline now: “Bee Rebellion Wreaks Havoc; World Honey Supply in Grave Danger.”

What would we do without honey? I love honey. Peanut butter and honey sandwiches are the greatest. The honey does this weird thing to the peanut butter, where it makes it crunchy but not too crunchy, and it keeps it from doing that weird thing where it sticks to the roof of your mouth and you have to drink a whole cow to get it to go away. Honey’s also a great natural preservative. And salt. Two great preservers, if you ever need to preserve something. Like a mummy. Let’s bring back Egyptian mummies. We haven’t had a Pharaoh in a while. When was the last pyramid built? I think we need more of that.

I like honey. That’s all I’m really trying to say.

Now I want a sandwich. But I don’t have any honey. Oh well. Bologna and mustard it is.